If you've been living under a rock this past weekend, then you haven't heard about the most amazing White House Correspondants Dinner. Every year, all of the press, the White House staff, and even the President sit down for a meal and a few laughs. Usually is a little light ribbing along the lines of Jay Leno (nobody gets too offended.) A few years back Bill Maher pissed a few people off, but it was nothing compared to Colbert's speech this past weekend.
Playing the part of his TV alter-ego as a Right Wing Talking Head, he pointedly tore the president a new asshole, bitch-slapped the White House press, and made me laugh my head off. Here are some highlights:
"By the way, before I get started, if anybody needs anything else at
their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers.
Somebody from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail."
"In fact, Ambassador Zhou Wenzhong, welcome. Your great country makes
our Happy Meals possible. I said it's a celebration. I believe the
government that governs best is the government that governs least. And
by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq."
"Now, I know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32%
approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls.
We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect
what people are thinking in "reality." And reality has a well-known
liberal bias."
"
I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on
things. Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded
city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what
happens to America, she will always rebound -- with the most powerfully
staged photo ops in the world."
"But, listen, let's review the rules. Here's how it works: the president
makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those
decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make,
announce, type. Just put 'em through a spell check and go home. Get to
know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you
got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid
Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration.
You know - fiction!"
And my particular favorite, "Everybody asks for personnel changes. So the White House has personnel
changes. Then you write, "Oh, they're just rearranging the deck chairs
on the Titanic." First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This
administration is not sinking. This administration is soaring. If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg!"
If you watch the video, you will notice lack of laughs. Well that's what you get when you're funny and honest about one of the worst President's in the history of America. I could have done without the videotape clip portion of his speech, but I forgive Stephen.
The greatest thing is the President was obviously pissed. What a great country we live in. Sure we're totally fucked up right now, but we get to insult the president write to his face!! Awesome.
LINK TO MOVIE - Big File (via: Crooksandliars.com) - not sure if this is the whole speech.
LINK TO TRANSCRIPT
UPDATE: The New York Times finally covered the story 4 days after the fact!
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